CollegeHumor Classic

A Tale of Two Sodas

by Sean Curry January 17, 2008

Dr. Pepper walks out of a coffeeshop, counting his change, and accidentally bumps into Mr. Pibb.

	Dr. Pepper: Oh, pardon me I wasn't looking where I was going- Pibb?
	Mr. Pibb: Doc! Oh man, hey Doc, what's up?
	Dr. Pepper: Mr. Pibb, I, uh... good to see you, how have you been?
	Mr. Pibb: You know, chilling, doing my thing. About to head down to Mickey Dee's, grab me a Big Mac. I'm maad hungry cause I dropped the biggest deuce this morning!
	Dr. Pepper: Ahh, yes, that's.... delightful. Well, I must be get going, I'm meeting-
	Mr. Pibb: Oh, sh*t, who you meeting? Coke? Pepsi?
	Dr. Pepper: Um, no one, just, uh, a friend from out of town-
	Mr. Pibb: You're meeting Fanta? Is she in the States?
	Dr. Pepper: No, she's not. Nevermind, I'm just late.
	Mr. Pibb: Oh, true, true. Hey didn't see you at RC's party last weekend, it was off the hook! Slice was there, Tab, and all the Dew Brothers!
	Dr. Pepper: Mountain Dew was there?
	Mr. Pibb: Oh, no. Just Code Red and Game Fuel. But it was crazy, Tab hooked up with both of them! I always thought she opened from the other end of the can, but I guess not.
	Dr. Pepper: Yes, well, sorry I missed out on the... "fun". It's just that Sprite and I were trying out this new sushi place uptown. I meant to stop by afterwards, but I just lost track of time, and...
	Mr. Pibb: Yeah, yeah, sure. I bet you just went to one of those fancy parties that Barq's throws all the time, right? I'm right, aren't I? Haha, just poppin' yer top, man.
	Dr. Pepper: ...right.
	Mr. Pibb: Hey man, we should totally hang out some time! Just like college, Pepper and Pibb, tearin' it up! Remember our beer pong team name?
	Dr. Pepper: Oh yes, P-
	Mr. Pibb: Pibber! Yeah man, that was so much fun. College was crazy.
	Dr. Pepper: Yes, it was fun. Ten years ago.
	Mr. Pibb: Yeah, yeah, totally.
	Sam's Club Dr. Radical: 'scuse me gentlemen, could you spare any change?
	Mr. Pibb: Ooh, sorry, don't have any, man.
	Dr. Pepper: I only carry plastic.