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The Freshman Virgin Who Just Doesn't Get It Tries to Pick Up Guys at the Bar

by Mindy Raf April 10, 2008


If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "U" and "I" together at a restaurant getting to know each other.

Hi, my name's Mindy. You might want to remember it now because you'll be screaming it later, across the bar, when I'm leaving and you realize you don't have my phone number.

Hold hands with me in public if I'm wrong, but is your name Zeus?

Hey, let's get a pizza and kiss each other goodnight.

So, you live around here? Oh, you do? That's cool. So hey, maybe we can get coffee sometime next week.

Do you have a mirror in your pants? Why? Because I can see a girl looking for her
soulmate in them.

So what's your favorite kind of music that you'd want to dance to when you're my date for my cousin's wedding next weekend?

You have really nice eyes that might see my boobs later and nothing else.

Nice shoes, wanna girlfriend?

That shirt is really becoming on you. I really like it. Blue's my favorite color.

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