Roommate Confessions

It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds here.

A few years ago I lived in a house with 3 great guys and one turd burglar. We got along well except for the one guy who did nothing but play video games on the only T.V. in the house and smoke, which wouldn't have been a problem except that nobody else could ever use the common room. All the guys are pretty passive but were annoyed that they never got use of the room so the solution - clear nail polish. On one of the rare occasion he went to class I would coat the prongs of the plug for his Playstation with a thin layer of clear nail polish and let it dry then plug it in. The nail polish prevented the electrical connection and the Playstation wouldn't work. He replaced it 3 times and the same thing happened each time. He never did figure it out but starting hanging out as his goon buddies house instead since their Playstations worked - problem solved.

Dave S., Ryerson

I met this girl named Amee the first week of freshman year. The first night I met over she came home with me and left an over-sized sweater that I started to wear and eventually kept. We saw each other for about 2 months and she seemed perfect. One weekend she went home to visit family. She didn't tell me but I found out from her roommate that she'd gone home to see her ex-boyfriend. This sucked for me but I was getting straight down to business. She texted me all weekend saying she "misses me", weak sauce. The night she came back I had her over like usual and acted regular. She was up at 3am and had to go to the floors washroom, as she often did. The washroom was just outside my room so she got up without changing. We were talking and she asked what she should be for Halloween. Not missing a beat, I said "Why don't you go as a skank? I've got a sweater you could use." I threw the sweater to her and closed my door. She knew exactly what just happened and got frostbitten while she walked home with nothing but that sweater on. November in Ottawa is a b*tch.
Paul Ley, University of Ottawa

After college, I moved to San Diego and found a roommate on Craig's List. She was pretty cool for the most part, but her boyfriend Matt and his friends were total douchebags. Matt wanted to go to law school, but sat around all day smoking pot and surfing. I could almost handle him, if it weren't for the fact that he and his friends were complete perverts. They walked in on me in the shower twice, walked into my room without knocking, grabbed my ass, and propositioned me every chance they got. (And I'm pretty sure one of his friends stole money out of my room one time.) The last straw came when my little sister visited and we all drove down to Mexico. Matt and his entourage acted like total assholes the entire time, insulted the hotel staff and got us kicked out, they asked every local we encountered where the donkey show was, and one of them "accidentally" pulled off my sister's top when we were in the pool. By the end of the trip, even my roommate was fed up and refused to drive back with them. When we crossed the border, I made sure that our car (me, my sister and my roommate) went first and Matt and his asshole friends were behind us. After we showed Border Patrol our passports and answered their questions, we told them that we recognized the guys in the car behind us from our hotel, and that we thought they might be trying to smuggle drugs into the country. As we crossed the border back into California, I saw the car full of assholes being pulled over to the side. The next day, my roommate got a call from Matt: apparently he and his friends were strip searched, his car was taken apart piece by piece, and two of his friends got arrested for trying to smuggle prescription drugs into the country. So much for law school, Matt!
Vanessa D

I have an apartment with 3 more friends and we're always playing pranks on each other. One of the guys was always banging his chick so we thought we should record them going at it with a tape recorder and every time they were in his room, we would play it on the speakers full blast. At first they would get mad but they got over it pretty quick and we figured the recording had gotten old, so we decided to record them. The next time we played it we heard yelling coming from their room and his girl stormed out pissed and half naked. It turns out the day we recorded "my buddy and his girlfriend" again, he was actually in there with some other girl and when we played the recording full blast she yelled at him "those aren't my moans!" and broke up with him on the spot. At first he was pissed, but then he got me back. I left back home for a weekend and he called my girlfriend and told her that I wanted her to go over and pick up some notes that I needed for a test. When she got to my room, she found a thong and 3 used rubbers on the floor. She called me crying and babbling about how much of an asshole I was and explained what she had seen. It didn't really help that I started to laugh really hard because I knew that Robbie planted them there for her to see. She was mad for a few days and to this day she still thinks I'm full of shit.
Neto V., University of Texas Pan American

Hey Kendra, remember how you did that crazy keg stand at my frat's Halloween party last year? Remember how you woke up the next day down the street with the huge bruise on your face and you had no idea how it happened? It was because we dropped you on your head when you were really drunk. Don't fuck with more than one of the brothers of KA.
Dan Leide, Texas A&M

Submit yours here!