It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds here!
When we were roommates in the dorms, I used your electric toothbrush to clean the inside of my dishes. But I rinsed it off pretty thoroughly afterward.
Jackson M., UNR
So my best friend for at least four years decides he's suddenly in love with my female best friend (who I've known since preschool. Goddamn preschool, dudes. And dudettes). So he starts hitting on her, and she's all weirded out at first, but then she suddenly likes it. So they get together and he starts being a total shitface to everyone. All he thinks about is her - all the fucking time - and worse, all he TALKS about is her. "My girlfriend this, my girlfriend that," godDAMMIT, shut up! So me and a few friends get sick of this and decide to screw with him. We know his recovery question is "What was the name of your pet?" And so we make a facebook group called "Name of your pet." Well, dumbass Loverboy joins and posts his old pet's name. So we take it and go hack his yahoo account, then we hack his facebook. From there, it was just a matter of screwing around, changing shit until he was a laughingstock and his girlfriend broke up with him.Moral: Don't forsake your friends because you got a girlfriend, asshole. Now you're alone and helpless. Fun, isn't it? Fuck you.
Michelle, School Not Given
Since I'm a commuter, I just have to say, Mom, it was me who ate all the cookies.
Phil Saponaro, UD
Hey Kevin. I know you were excited when you got a new girlfriend on campus. And sure, I was understanding when you requested the room more often than usual for the first couple weeks. But when I told you that my girlfriend was driving up and I needed the room just one time, you proceeded to take up the room for the entire night. The kicker here is that your girlfriend's room was unlocked and unoccupied the entire time. So, I decided that her room needed a little redecorating. Since my girlfriend was feeling a little frisky, while we were in the act (on your girlfriends bed), she started pulling down a ThunderCats poster. And, well, since I didn't want to finish on your girlfriends sheets, I decided to finish on the poster and stick it back on the wall. Good as new! I don't know for sure, but I like to think this was the reason you two broke up after a month. Oh, and, uh, I'm sorry.
Sam Stratton, Bridgewater State
by Mike Birbiglia at Georgetown
by Jeff Rosenberg at NYU
by Fandango527
the iPad is so stupid that the number of comedy possibilities is just... astounding.
Gmail, Firefox, YouPorn and more speak up to keep you from doing your work.
The Black Ranger is black... the Yellow Ranger is Asian... uh oh.
Look out for d-bags and children on leashes.
Why stop yourself from having sex with your mom, when you can make it a threesome?
Wow, just, wow.
Hook ups can range from something to do on a Saturday night to life altering greatness. Here is the hook up hierarchy, Level 1 being the highest.
It s the Tuesday before Valentine s Day, which means you only have six days to convince your girlfriend that you�ve been thinking about this occasion since the day you met. Luckily, I m here with a day-by-day breakdown of what you should be doing.
Recording...
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