Dave: Hey, neighbor, can I ask you something?
Bill: City hall. Rain cloud. Dollar sign.
Dave: Um, yeah. Listen, I really need a friend. My boss says I can't get promoted until I get one and learn something about cooking. Life in politics is not what I imagined.
Bill: Soccer ball. Earth. Ghost!
Dave: Uh...huh.
Bill: I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!
Pause.
Dave: So....you watch any sports or anything?
Bill: Backrub?
Dave: Um, no thanks. I only ask because my TV only gets four channels, and they all speak this non-sense jibberish language. It's so weird.
Bill: Backrub?
Dave: Uh, still no, thanks.
Bill: Tickle!
Dave: Haaaa...very funny. That was not at all awkward.
Bill: We're friends now.
Dave: Jeez, really? Okay, whatever you say. I dunno how I'm supposed to prove that to my boss. Would you mind signing something?
Bill: I'm going to hug you now.
Dave: No thanks there, buddy. Just...sign this piece of paper?
Bill: Would you like to dance?
Dave: On your lawn? Not really. I don't even know your name.
Bill: We're not friends anymore.
Dave: Jeez. That's kinda sudden.
Bill: I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!
Pause.
Dave: Right. Of course you do. So I guess I'll be going...
Bill: I'm going to study cooking and then make macaroni and then take a shower and then give you a backrub and then work out and then go to sleep.
Dave: That's great. Hey, do you know what these things over our heads are supposed to be? I'm terrified that one day it'll just fall and crack my skull open- WHOA. Did you just...piss yourself?
Bill: I'm sad that I peed on the ground.
Dave: Ew. Is that...blue? Did you pee blue?
Bill: AHHHHH! SOMETHING IS ON FIRE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HOUSE!!! I HAVE TO GO STAND NEXT TO IT AND SCREAM!
Bill runs off.
Dave: Crap, well, maybe I'll go for a swim. Hope the ladders don't mysteriously disappear this time.
Go to GamerPaper.com for the WooHoo! of internet videogame comedy.
by Sarah Schneider at Wake Forest
by Andrew B. at Purdue
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Hook ups can range from something to do on a Saturday night to life altering greatness. Here is the hook up hierarchy, Level 1 being the highest.
Wow, just, wow.
Recording...
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