Parents Just Don't Understand

Do your parents not understand technology? Do they ask you stupid questions? Do they send you absurd text messages? If you’ve got an example of your “Parents Just Don’t Understanding”, submit it here!
And thank God we’ll never be as dumb as they are!

One day my mom needed some help because her new radio-alarm-clock had some stupid defect she could not explain: The display said ‘hEGI’ and I was a little puzzled at first but as the letters changed to ‘SEGI’ I turned the clock upside down and left the room in silence. Back in my room I bursted into laugher and tears of joy.
Seb. M.

We got my mother a basic Kindle for Christmas. She opens it up and immediately asks if she can play “Dirty Birds” on it.
Sam B.

My parents blocked this website. I’m sixteen….
Normy Normenson

Do your parents not understand technology? Do they ask you stupid questions? Do they send you absurd text messages? If you’ve got an example of your “Parents Just Don’t Understanding”, submit it here!
And thank God we’ll never be as dumb as they are!

For Christmas this year, my dad received an ipad. For reasons no one in my family understands, he refers to it as an “iscratch” or “the kindle.”
Claire M from W&M

I recently demonstrated the wonders of copy and paste to my mother. Her response: “It’s a wonder what they can do with computers these days!”
David Forrester from University of Ottawa, Canada

I just showed my dad the correct way to hold a N64 controller.
Kenny linnemann from nku

My mothers boyfriend thinks YouTube is a band.
John Jackson

Do your parents not understand technology? Do they ask you stupid questions? Do they send you absurd text messages? If you’ve got an example of your “Parents Just Don’t Understanding”, submit it here!
And thank God we’ll never be as dumb as they are!

When my sister opened the crockpot my mother bought her for Christmas she said that she had a feeling that she was getting one. Apparently, my mom had posted on Facebook a link to a site of crockpots she was looking at. She denies knowing how to copy a link, let alone share it on facebook. She still has no idea how she managed it…
L Jones

My mum asked for an iPod Nano for Christmas even though she doesn’t even like to listen to music. Despite this, my dad and I got her one and she has been spending the past few days asking questions like “Can I use my iTunes giftcard on Amazon?” or “What is this white cord called?” while holding up the headphones. Also, she refuses to use the headphones provided, and instead uses a pair from the 90’s that fit over her ears because she thinks they sound better. Finally, yesterday, while staring at the iPod with her glasses on she asks me “Is my nano still an MP3 player?”
Sarah W from University of Portland

My parents wanted to get a smart phone for themselves, and they asked me if their landline phones would stop working if they bought the smart phone. The ACTUALLY were under the impression that the smart phone would literally suck the “power” out of the land line phones. I didn’t know whether to laugh or slap myself.
Bill C. from Eastern Illinois University

Do your parents not understand technology? Do they ask you stupid questions? Do they send you absurd text messages? If you’ve got an example of your “Parents Just Don’t Understanding”, submit it here!
And thank God we’ll never be as dumb as they are!

My mom asked if there was a price difference between a hardback and paperback e-book. To save the time of explaining it I told her paperbacks were cheaper.
Seth M from Arizona State

My parents think that if someone is their “friend” on facebook that means that they can creep and discuss every little thing that happens on their news feed. They will sit in different rooms and yell back and forth what each one of their friends is doing. My dad is a professor and doesn’t understand when his young, female students friend him, it’s a joke. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard things like “wow, so and so is wearing a bikini in her picture, I thought she was a christian.”
L . from OSU

My Mom was going to buy my Dad an iPad for Christmas, but decided against it because she said the girl at the Apple Store didn’t think it would be able to “twitch” with his Blackberry…
Christopher Henry

Once my Philosophy teacher said air conditioning causes global warming because they “steal the fresh from outside.”
Matheus Fernandes

My mother was very concerned my young cousins had watched the trailer for the “human caterpillar.”
katherine berry

Every time my mom sends me an email she yells upstairs to “see if I got it.”
Justin M

My mom gets super annoyed when people use Google to look up phone numbers. She doesn’t understand why they can’t just learn how to use a phone book.
D C

Do your parents not understand technology? Do they ask you stupid questions? Do they send you absurd text messages? If you’ve got an example of your “Parents Just Don’t Understanding”, submit it here!
And thank God we’ll never be as dumb as they are!

In 1999, my dad grounded me on New Years Eve, because I refused to shake the mouse on the computer every five minutes to stop it from sleeping while it was running a virus scan.
AJ Ka-e from SBU

I helped a ~40 year old customer sign up for a rewards card this weekend. It asked for his email address. He asked me what to do if he didn’t have an email address. He then went on to explain that he has a g-mail account and wanted to know if that would work….
Lauren G from Illinois State

I was in the kitchen watching How I Met Your Mother on my laptop when my dad started to get on my case about “How I can sit in front of that fucking screen all day”. He then proceeded to watch three hours of TV. Love you Pops.
Kyle Pastor

I love my dad. You sense the but there don’t you? Ok, so 2 stories. When I was first teaching my dad how to use a desktop PC, he would sit in front of the computer and command me to get him where he wanted to go on the internet by doing all the work for him. Not what I intended when teaching someone how to use a computer. When I finally got him to use the mouse, instead of resting his hand on the mouse and gliding it around, he would form a cage around the mouse with his fingers and glide the finger cage around to get the mouse where he wanted it to go. Then he would remove the finger cage and ever so carefully click it with his index finger because if he wasn’t careful the mouse would move and he’d lose his spot. Then he’d order me to print out whatever he was looking up.
Second story – to this day, when my dad answers a call, he answers it in speakerphone and then places it up against his ear. I can hear everything he and the callers say. Great stuff!
Del G

Recently, my dad suddenly turned to me during what had otherwise been a completely silent dinner and asked: “Are hashtags the same as Googles?”
Rob F

Do your parents not understand technology? Do they ask you stupid questions? Do they send you absurd text messages? If you’ve got an example of your “Parents Just Don’t Understanding”, submit it here!
And thank God we’ll never be as dumb as they are!

We recently got a new house phone. My dad knows how to answer it, but if whoever is calling doesn’t respond right away he starts yelling “Hello? Hello? Hello?” while pulling the phone away from his ear and looking at it so he wouldn’t even be able to hear if the other person was talking. He insists that he isn’t answering it correctly, keeps asking me how to answer it, and when I tell him what button to press he says that doesn’t work and gets mad at me for not helping him.
Amanda P

My dad thinks that the nickname of one of my friends is his real middle name. Wny? Because thats the way is written on his facebook profile
A. Nonymous

My mom threatened to take away my laptop because I wouldn’t accept her follower request on twitter.
M Johnson

My mother doesn’t speak english, but she runs an internet business so she always asks me to translate for her. I showed her how to use Google Translate and even put it into her favorites tab. She now asks me how to open her favorite tab.
jeff kang

My mum got a new phone and just about managed to master the basic functions, but one day, after a weekend away, she comes to me in a panic saying that her phone has died. She said “The square comes on when I charge it, but it won’t switch on!” After going through the manual in detail with her, I discover that she’s been trying to turn it on using the call button “because it’s green and that means ‘on’…”
Leni H

Today I was helping my mom reset her password… after she was done she wanted to check her facebook. She closed the window and reopened it so it showed google again instead of her email. I told her she didn’t have to do that every time, she could just type it in in the url bar or search bar. She then looked at me and said in annoyed voice, “Yes I do Honey or else it isn’t google anymore… I only use google or there will be viruses.”
Gigi Edwards

My dad is still convinced that Dance-Dance Revolution is miniature twister.
George Walburn from Westburry

Do your parents not understand technology? Do they ask you stupid questions? Do they send you absurd text messages? If you’ve got an example of your “Parents Just Don’t Understanding”, submit it here!
And thank God we’ll never be as dumb as they are!

Last year, my dad and his brothers bought a computer for my grandma. Thinking she was rather tech savvy, she showed me that she could add my email address to her contacts. When she was done adding my info, she closed out of the browser and signed back in. When I asked her what she was doing, she just said, “Oh, that’s how you have to do it.” I pointed to the back button. Her mind was blown.
Matt R from Western Michigan University

Beeping noises utterly confuse my mother. If she gets a text message and her phone beeps she’ll check the oven to find out who made supper. So one day I was microwaving something and just as the final beeps sounded an application closed on her computer. She began frantically yelling across the house,“What did you do?!!” There was no explaining it to her so I just reopened her email to calm her down.
Tia Ostberg from University of Calgary

Things are a little tight this month, so my Mom told me she was planning to extract “ten hours of sweat and effort” out of me for my allowance. I have just completed my first task and she was well pleased and told me I had “definitely earned my keep this month.” The heroic effort I made? I showed her how to use the new list feature of her Facebook page.
J Sloan

I asked my 76 year old Dad to put in his password on his computer in order to open it up. He said he tried but it always turned out to be just “X’s.”
Chris German

Mom: You sure you don’t want to come to Hayward with us? You can do your homework in the car can’t you?
Me: I need the internet to do research.
Mom: Then let’s take the internet with us.
Me: …
Chizuru M

Every professor I have ever had for any class, without fail, does not know about the full screen button on youtube videos.
Sera S

My mom was telling me that she and my dad went to the movies to see some movie in 3D, but the attendant told her that all the 3D screens were taken, and they were just showing the 2D version of the film. I asked her how the movie was and she told me that they didn’t see it because they didn’t want to see a blurry movie. They actually thought the theatres would show a 3D movie on a 2D screen without the glasses.
Arrielle Acosta from UTEP

My mom thinks its the funniest thing when the apps “shake in fright” on the iPhone. She likes to think that they are scared of who will be deleted next.
zack coo

So some tigers and wolves got loose a few counties away from my school. For some reason, my dad was concerned, so he called me about it. I was about to take a midterm so I had to reject his call twice. Then I turned off my phone. I got four voice messages from him saying he was really worried because my phone was now going straight to voice-mail. So apparently it meant that the tiger killed me, took my phone, rejected his calls, and then turned my phone off.
F A from Ohio State

My mum was downloading pictures from her camera to DVD. For whatever reason, she put the SD card into the dvd slot… You can still hear the card rattling around in her Mac.
David B

So my dad is under the impression that in order to search for anything online, you must include www. and .com

Here is an actual request:

Dad: “Hey, I need you to look up the score for the UNC game. What’s that, www.uncscore.com?”

Me: “Yep Daddy, let me try that.”
Jenna K

Everytime my dad talks to someone on the phone and they ask for his email address when he gets to the @ part, he says “@ like the at sign @gmail.net.” Then double checks to make sure that they used the symbol and not the word at. Every single time.
Kendra Lachmund from Ball State

This lady I work with showed me her filing system today. She has an entire drawer full of printed emails. Every time someone emails her, she prints it out and then files it in a folder according to subject matter. She says it’s “too difficult” to find what she wants in her email and this filing system is much easier.
Some of her file folder labels are “boss,” “meetings,” and “forwards.”
Stephanie D from Texas

My friend’s dad called me because he didn’t know where the Desktop button was on his “icon screen.”
S. L.

My stepmother signs all of her Facebook messages with “Toodles”. Even comments. Even her status updates.

I like to imagine she immediately leaves the room after posting anything.
Adam Mongrain

About two years ago, my mum discovered how to play solitaire on the computer. About two weeks ago she discovered how to play music on the computer. Today in total amazement she told me she could play solitare and listen to music at the same time.
Candy Mountain

My dad thinks that usernames need to end in “.com”…
Miles Peters

I recently went on an outing, and one of the older people on the trip asked for my help, because she couldn’t get her digital camera to work. She told me her son had just given it to her, and she just couldn’t get it to work. After about 2 seconds with the camera, i had to point out that she had neither a battery or SD card in it.
Stephen Paul

One time my dad tried to send a document that he had gotten at work to his colleague. He ended up calling me because when he was putting the paper back into the printer (not the scanner I’m talking about the place where the paper comes out) it wasn’t “going into the computer.”
Finn Pollock

My dad thinks that because I have downloaded games from the PSN store, it causes the internet to be slower on the PS3. And he insists that this is why he is not good at Call of Duty.
Alex W

My mum once accidentally deleted her photos from her camera after copying them to the computer.
In her panic to get them back on the camera’s SD card (where all her photos are stored permanently) she spent the next half an hour taking photos of the computer screen as she viewed each photo one by one.
Jackson Roberts

Every time I bring my laptop to my grandma’s house, she asks me to show her facebook photos, and every time, I have to explain to her that she doesn’t have an internet connection. She then yells at me because I “keep forgetting to bring the internet with me.”
W F

My geography professor printed out a page of links for us to visit. Not the URLs… just the titles of the pages. For some reason I can’t click them when they are on paper.
Paul Frederickson from UW Rock County

I work at a Starbucks and we constantly get older people that want to use the internet. For some reason we always get bugged with the same problem that they can’t connect. These are the 3 main reasons why:

1. They never turned their wifi on.
2. They never connected to the network.
3. They say, “I need google to log on, but the internet isn’t showing google.”

Oddly enough, these same people always come back and always have the same problems.
Mark Diaz from UNE

I just finished a year long project transferring all my parents’ home movies of my childhood from Hi8 and VHS to digital format. The most tedious part? Removing the first ten to twenty seconds of EVERY scene: Lens cap coming off, camera shakily pointing at floor or ceiling, and my parents having a discussion about whether or not it was recording already. Literally 6 to 7 times an hour, over 70 hours of home movies, spanning 20+ years.
Chris R

A couple of days ago, my mom asked me to help her make an account on a website for some gossip magazine she likes, so she could get updates and newsletters. As her username, she put her first and last name, and then her birthday- 6763. The site limits the username to be 6 to 20 characters long, and hers was 24. To fix this she changed the number 6763 to 6759, then proceeded to curse at the computer because, “[She] took all the maths in school, 6763 minus 4 is 6759!”. She has since stopped reading the magazine because of her anger.
Dianna Lacey from Queens College

Yesterday, I made the mistake of showing my dad that when I tell my phone to “Call A**hole” it says “Did you mean ‘call Dad Cell?’” He thought this was absolutely hilarious and wants to do it on his phone now, but no matter how many times I try to tell him that his phone can’t do it (which it can’t), he insists that it can. He is currently sitting in the living room yelling “A**hole!” at his phone while pressing random buttons.
Irene Smith

My mom just got a new Android smartphone recently. Besides not knowing how to do anything on it besides play Angry Birds, I had to laugh when she showed me the finger nail polish she painted on it so she could tell which side of the phone was the the top.
Tyler T

My father just asked me not to change the Google logo so often – he liked the plain one best.
M A

The thing that most confuses my mom (even more than switching internet browsers) is the fact that the original Star Wars trilogy takes place after the second one, even though I’ve being explaining it since 1999.
D. R.