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"Well, it took three preachy paragraph-length statuses, a link to a Slate article from 2009, and 4 hard-earned Likes, but dammit, I FINALLY convinced this girl from high school with the 'baby in the bee onesie' avatar to permanently switch her lifelong political affiliation. That was nine sweaty, frustrating hours of my Saturday WELL SPENT!"
"How did I meet your father? Well, me and some of my friends brushed by him in this shitty, crowded bar, and out of nowhere I hear 'Hey, are those Astronaut Pants?' so of course I responded, 'Astronaut Pants? No, they are not, in fact, pants constructed from a material suitable for space exploration, but proceed to explain your query,' and he replied that he was only asking that because my ass was 'out of this world!' Just hearing that incredibly general, superficial burst of stock-whimsy that could've been spoken by anyone, to anyone, really let me know that he was the one..."