1. This squirrel can rap
Alright, everyone, thanks for coming to the first meeting for 2nd Floor McCullen Hall! Yay! I'm your RA. My name is Amun-Ra, but you can just call me Ra 'cause I'm chill like that. Let's break the ice with a little "Two Truths and a Lie." We'll say two true things about ourselves and one lie, and it's up to you to guess which one is not true. Got it? Okay. 1) I brought forth everything in creation by saying its secret name, 2) I have a falcon for a head, and 3) I'm lactose intolerant. What do you guys think...
Wrong! It's the second one. I have a falcon's HEAD for a head, not a whole falcon. That would look stupid. That's also a lesson about language. We all need to be sure that we choose our words carefully and keep communication open. That way we'll all avoid conflicts. Also, avoid using "angry" words like "stupid" in public spaces. That was my bad, there. But that's also a lesson about me. Sometimes I make mistakes too. I'm a student just like you! I also just happen to have some administrative disciplinary powers, and the power of flight. And the power to create and destroy with a word.
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Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life. College is a place for higher learning and personal growth, self-expression and community building. Some of the people you'll meet at this prestigious university will be by your side for decades to come.
You can learn a little bit from every person you meet in this maze you've set out to navigate. The maze of life. Take, for instance, this dedicated young individual, standing out in the sun frying for some measly nickels and dimes in his pocket at the end of the day. But y'know what? He'll go to sleep tonight, sweat plastered to his forehead, body burnt from the harsh rays, feet sore and shoes muddied by the endless stream of fresh faces entering this fine institution, and he'll know what it means to work. He'll appreciate what it means to live.
Sometimes life gives you second chances. Like remember when you wanted to make that great joke to the first guy but couldn't think of the right wording in time? Well, now's your chance! Sometimes opportunities are missed. Life happens. And so what if the joke falls flat. What matters is that you went for it. You had the courage to commit, even if it was only the second time around. Here's a lesson for you, even if you fail, at least you've succeeded at trying.