It's actually a regular-sized turtle being held by a mutant teenager.
I don't read BOOKS I read POETRY.
This will get all you teenager boys in the mood... for laughter.
If it makes you feel any better, even you were a better looking teenager than Paris Hilton.
Supposedly, this is how blondes print Word documents. But don't look at me like that wouldn't work.
Sorry guys, I've tried it too. You can't just copy beer.