Slow and steady wins the dating game.
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Nicolas Cage. A God among men. You might call his acting "wooden" or "appallingly vacant," but before you bring up _The Wicker Man_ take a look at this showcase of Cage's finest work: acting so methodical you might have overlooked it the first time around. In "poorly drawn caricature" and "Superbowl Beyonce" he actually _becomes_ his work. It's moving. Truly moving.
Sometimes you have to read the fine print.
Poop in advertising.
A true American drinks his feelings.
But you should stop.
My only regret is that I had but one detention to receive for my actions.