In any given year of college, there will no doubt be 8 select nights that your drunkenness will be felt at least 3 states over. We're not talking about your typical weeknight/weekend drunken endeavors, but those special nights where it is critical that you drink until the night (your memories) ends at least 6 hours before you actually passed out.

  • The first weekend back. Face it, after a summer of being home with all of your d-bag friends from home, you’re ready to re-live last year’s hijinx with all those “crazy dudes from (insert nearest large city).” The night involves seeing what freshman girls got fat over the summer, showing off new drinking games learned, and eventually remembering why you were so happy school got out for the summer.
  • Halloween.Clearly the best holiday for college kids. You get to dress like an idiot, act like an idiot, ogle hot sorority girls dressed as hot/naughty insert occupation here, and probably get in a fight with another kid who had the same idea as you to go as Pee-Wee Hermann. And also because, you’re just bound to get drunker in a costume.
  • That weekend your friends come to visit.Of course, you wanna show those hometown boys how the U of Iowa gets down!!!! It basically comes down to showing them hot girls on your facebook you “almost got with 2 weekends ago,” drinking shitty rum and eventually locking them out of your dorm room with nowhere to go while you hook up with that fuggo from your chem lab.
  • TAILGATING!!!!! You get up early with the determination of Lance Armstrong to outdrink and outplay those fuckhead queers from State U on Saturday and overdo it to the point of being denied entrance to the stadium because you’re “that hardcore.” In a fit of rage and self-pity, you will probably stumble home, pass out, wake up that night and go out again, this time to spend the rest of the night getting black-out drunk and cursing that bastard security guard who didn’t let you in.
  • Visiting Friends at their Schools. Nothing better than going to another school to see how they do it. The way you figure, it’s a celebration, you’re never gonna see most of those people ever again, so let’s get retarded tonight!!!! But as it turns out, your friends’ buddies are mostly d-bags, there is zero hot girls there, and somehow you get written up in the dorms even though you don’t even go there.
  • Spring Concert/Festival. Chances are good your school has some sort of spring concert weekend or the like, maybe an outdoor party or battle of the bands type of day. Always a good excuse to party in the park and listen to that shitty local band who thinks they’re famous since they have a MySpace music page and their lead singer “kinda sounds like the guy from Fall out Boy,” except not really. But live this one up, because these events can often turn into riots which will result in you probably getting maced or tear-gassed, but hey, you’ll be so shaboozled you won’t remember it right?? Wrong. You’ll always remember getting maced.
  • Finals.School’s winding down, better get one last night in with the guys. Unfortunately, everybody’s finals end at different times.Oh well, its Wednesday and you have one more final left tomorrow and everyone is ripping it up tonight. Do it hard. You might not see some of these people again next fall- especially when you fail the semester because you slept through your last final Thursday morning. Oh well, at least you made the Century Club!!!!
  • That Random Weeknight.Mainly reserved for underclassmen, no one forgets that one Tuesday night about 1/3 into the semester when you threw caution to the wind and got FUCKING WRECKED. Maybe you and the boys did a case race, maybe you went shot for shot with some frat pledges in pink polos, or maybe you just decided to drink as much of a bottle of Aristocrat, or equally shitty/cheap vodka because, why the fuck not??No one forgets the next morning either, usually a Wednesday, when you puke your guts out between two dorm halls in the bushes on your way to class, what a mistake… but what a night.