Hey boys. Resident girl, here. Ever go out with your girlfriend's friends and have no idea what they are talking about? Ever think that maybe, just maybe, if you knew Nick Lachey's girlfriend's name you'd be boning tonight instead of playing Mario Kart on two computer screens? Well have I got the update for you. Every week, I'll be posting a quick recap of the week's biggest gossip stories. I know you don't really care, but just think how impressed your girlfriend will be when you make a topical Mel Gibson joke. Anti-Semitism never felt so good.

This week's gossip:

Things in Hollywood are all sorts of fucked up this week. The top story of the week is the TMZ)

  • TOTALLY RANDOM Couple of the Week: MIIIIIIIIIINDFREEEEEEAK" are totally doing it. Sick. (source: PerezHilton)

    Last but not least, everyone congratulate our favorite used-to-be-hot pop star Britney Spears on