Goddammit, my life sucks. Another fucking stupid vacation with my fucking stupid family. I bet if I jumped into the canyon right now they wouldn't evennotice. You know what, maybe I should!

Hmm…should I do it right here, at the ledge—no, I know! I'll jump off that new overhanging walkway! That'd be something! No, that costs like $25 just to get in, I'm not paying that much. I guess I'll just jump off here.

Boy, it's a long way down. Maybe I shouldn't do this. Dammit, I'm always backing out of these things at the last minute! I've got to commit to this! First I'd better get my stupid family's attention, so they can see this. Mom! MOM! HEY MOM, I'M GOING TO JUMP! Christ, she's not even looking! Screw her, I'm jumping. One…two…three—


Wow…after the first few seconds, it's not so bad. Doesn't feel like my stomach is in my throat anymore. Heh…I kind of feel like a bird. Hope I don't hit a bird. That would really hurt. I wonder how much it's going to hurt when I land. I doubt I even feel it, I'll probably be dead so fast.

I bet Mom and Dad haven't even noticed I'm gone. I bet they'll miss me when they find out what happened. They'd better miss me. You know what, I bet they were going to leave me here on purpose. Douchebags.

I wonder if they have safety mattresses on the bottom for people who jump or fall. Stunt bags, or a lot of giant trampolines. That would be really cool, but it would kind of defeat the purpose of jumping. I don't see any down there, so I doubt it.

Damn, I've been falling for a really long time. The ground's getting closer, but it's still a long way off. Hey, I see a group of mules! Maybe I'll land on one of 'em! That'd be great, except for whoever I land on. Probably kill them, too. Maybethey have a trampoline…

Oh shit, there's a new episode of "Scrubs" tonight! I forgot to set the DVR! Dammit, I hope it's on again soon. That is one of the few good shows on TV. Way better than that shitty "American Idol". I'm serious, anyone who actually pays attention to that show should just kill thems—