So I have to admit, this episode was a letdown. It was classic HBO programming of having a great episode followed but a mediocre unimportant one. The biggest change in all of their lives was announced with a sold sign on their house in the first six seconds of the episode. From there, the episode might as well have been about a trip to home depot, becauseabsolutely nothing freaking happened! It looks like Vince and E still don't have the money they need to make Medellin(I'll get to why later,) Drama is going to be an extra in Rush Hour 3, and Turtle had a bizarre day date. That's it? That's all we get? Why didn't they just make the episode about them getting burgers at the mall? Someone needs to tell HBO that we don't watch the show to have the guys have a more boring day then I did. And if you missed this episode, don't worry, you are now officially caught up.
So the episode starts withDrama hanging upside down in his bathroom like a vampire.I wasn't sure Drama's heart would survive hearing good news upside down, but apparentlyit did andLloyd told him that he was being offered a part in Rush Hour 3 based onBrett Ratner having seen the pilotfor5 Towns. I don't know why Drama didn't know this must have been a mistake from the begining. In the back of his mind, he must have knownthat noone would have seen his monologue from the pilot and thought thathe could act. But Drama still goes to the set and brags to his cast mates, played bythe worst bunch of extras ever cast. Seriously, did they have the d team director on this scene? Did he tell all of the actorsto laugh ridiculously at everything Drama says and then look directly into the camera with a confused looks.
After the director of5 Townsbuys Drama an entire sheet cake as a unnecessary congratulations for having a meeting, we are finally mercifully taken away to see E, Vince, and Ari going to meet a ridiculous Eastern European couple who wants to fund Medellin.The couple islike a morereal life version of the SNL sketch The Nunis. They're that crazy foreign typethat's loadedand probably wears gas masks during sex. And while both Ari and the husband claim that the wife used to be aforeign soap star, she looks more like she used to run an orphanage in some Eastern Block communist country. So they sit and eat lobster, discuss Sylvester Stalone's career, and rip on Eric while the wife eye fucks Vince. Producing is fun! Then sometime after lunch, the wife calls Vince and tells him that the sixty million is no problem, but that she needs to meet him alone at a hotel immediately to discuss the puddle that is currently forming under her. But Vince brings Eric along to the hotel as he's not in the mood for gas mask sex, and this makes her have a fit and she leaves pissed off.
Look, I get it. Vince gets crazy offers for sex that us normal people don't get, but this onewas just weird. Some billionaire offering sixty million dollars to bang his freaky, looks like a handbag wife. This show is supposed to be a fantasy, not some bizarre dream that you have after eating too much cheese. Anyway, if you watched the previews, you'll see that they are still looking for money, so Vince must have said no to being the Alex Rodrigez of whores and not taken the 60 mil to visitSouthern Croatia if you know what I mean. Which means that this entire plot line was a dead end and left a weird Eastern European taste in my mouth.
We are now forced to cut back to Drama's plot where we find out that Brett Ratner's assistant can't read and that Drama wasn't the person he wanted for the part. After being informed of the mistake,Johnny refuse toleave what is the first great gratuitous hot girls everywhere scene since the dog park like 4 episodes ago. i don't blamehim. I wouldn't have left either. When Brett Ratner finallyapproaches Drama, he's ready with some of the best ass kissing this side ofThe Actor's Studio . Ratner half falls for itand Drama ends up in some weird pyramid like scheme where he has to pay to be an extra in the movie. Whatever. My bet is we will never hear of this again and we will look back on it as total filler.
The best part of the episode was Turtle's date. First, I must say that the girl (she's also been in ATL) is smoking hot. And she isprobably the coolest girl any of them havedated. She drives fast,has cool interests, and seems down to earth. And I reiterate, she's damn hot. What else do you need? In fact afterTurtle let her drive she made a move and planted a kiss on him, although I'd probably kiss the guy to drive his Mazarati. I'm sure we'll be seeing more of Kelly soon, making this the only worthwhile plot development of the whole episode.
Some Random Thoughts
- Do 5 million dollar houses usually sell in a week?
- Would you have slept with that cazy woman for 60 million? Ok, better question what would you do with the money you got for sleeping with her?
-What parent makes their kids watch a movie with them during a day date? Rufus doesn't look mormon
- We almost got to hear Turtle's real name! She told him knowing his name was a condition in sleeping with her and he still balked! Makes me think his ral name is like Turd Burgler or something.
- Watch a new episode of my animated show "The Melvin Bros" this week on gopotato.tv!