First Shot: I wanna get drunk. I need another.

Second Shot: I need an excuse to go to the bar and talk to the hot girl in the mermaid outfit.

Third Shot: Suit Up! Then you wear a tie. With a tee-shirt.

Fourth Shot: Whatever. Screw that girl who thought I was weird for wearing a tie. With a tee-shirt.

Fifth Shot: I don't smoke. But I want a cigarette. Why?

Sixth Shot: I'm a little drunk. But I'm still too sober.

Seventh Shot: I'm at the perfect state of drunk. Which means I'm still thinking. Which means I'm not drunk enough.

Eighth Shot: Gin tastes good.

Ninth Shot: I'm feeling a little too drunk. I need to slow down.

Tenth Shot: Pace yourself! But I wanna show off to the mermaid. Who thinks I'm weird. Cause I'm wearing a tie with a tee-shirt. Wait, where the hell did this tie come from?!?!

Eleventh Shot: I think I'm gunna ralph. Vodka will settle my stomach.

12th Shot: I need to pee. They won't mind if I pee on my dorm room floor.

Thirteenth Shot: I can't spell 12th.

Fourteenth Shot: But I can spell 14th!

Fifteenth Shot: FUUUUCK. I love you man! And your random friends. ZERO————————|—-DRUNK

Sixteenth Shot: I can fight you!

Seventeenth Shot: BLAAARG.

Eighteenth Shot: Let's hug random people. And show random girls my six pack. I wanna go to bed.

Nineteenth Shot: Let's post a collegehumor article! It'll be legend- and I hope you're not lactose intolerant cause the next word is -dairy.

Twentieth Shot: Spooning. With a man.