So for the last few months all I’ve been hearing about is how awesome the Nintendo Wii is. I finally got my roommate to buy one this weekend and I too fell into the trap Nintendo is setting for all of us.I played for almost three minutes when I felt something strange fluid rolling down my face.The doctors told me the technical name for this is perspiration or “sweat.”This is when I realized that just 3 minutes into playing the Wii I was getting a “workout.”

Who the hell does Nintendo think they are trying to trick me into working out?Do they know how long it took me to form a perfectly round body?All the times when everyone said I couldn’t possibly eat another double cheese.All the pictures on all the steakhouse walls for rising to the 4lb steak challenge. The time I had to waste waiting for elevators and buying more expensive parking passes just so I could be 50 feet closer to where I lived. Ah Hell no!

You see folks the Wii is a gateway workout.Buying one of these machines will only lead to harder workouts. Oh sure it’s just a few harmless games of bowling or golf.Then it’s walking to class or work.Next thing you know you’re actually going to the rec or joining a health club.When it’s all said and done we’ll see you at rock bottom.It will be televised on ESPN 2 at 4am and there you’ll be pulling a bus and picking up large boulders and putting them on pedestals.Is this something you really want to put your family through? So everyone take off the safety strap and throw your remote and nunchuck through the wall.Grab your jolt and chips.Sit back down and play video games like god intended.