Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
Dear Ketchup Packet Industry...
June 8, 2007
Ketchup packets. They're such a good idea. They're quick, they're easy, they're very portable. You just grab five or six packets on your way out of any dining facility and you're good to go. I do have one qualm here, however, as I sit here opening ketchup packet after ketchup packet as my chicken nuggets get cold. Honestly, just one thing, and anyone who knows me knows that I really hate to nit-pick. And trust me, the last thing I want to do is step on anyone's toes. I can totally see you guys going, "Does this piece of crap think he's better than us? Does he really think he knows something that we don't about the ketchup packet industry?" You're right. You're so right. I know nothing of your triumphs and tribulations. Which is why I say again, I really am not trying on purpose to overstep my boundaries. I can only hope that my intrusion isn't so offensive that you overlook my one simple suggestion: What if we made ketchup packets bigger?
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.