Shocking news to report from the Mushroom Kingdom today. A radical terrorist sect of mushroom people run by two Italian men who are presumed to be brothers has successfully overthrown the benevolent King Bowser of the Koopas in a military coup and taken control of the state government and the Kingdom. The terrorist group, known primarily by the name of their leaders, the Super Mario Brothers, has claimed for years that the rule of the “tyrant” Bowser was unlawful, insisting that the former princess of the Mushroom Kingdom, Peach Toadstool, is the rightful ruler of the Kingdom.
Toadstool was forced to step down from governmental duties several years ago by international pressure for her part in the goomba genocide of 2002. This led the way for a peaceful revolution that allowed for the long-oppressed koopas to create a constitutional monarchy and elect Bowser to rule as a representative of all the ethnic groups living within the Kingdom.
Around midnight last night, the Italian leaders of the Super Mario brothers stormed Koopa Castle, killing an estimated 30 koopa troopas and hammer brothers before unlawfully placing King Bowser under arrest for unspecified crimes. Previously, the Super Mario Brothers were known mostly for committing small scale terrorist acts such as planting bombs into warp pipes and assassinating low-ranking koopa troopas with lethal fire flowers. Now in control of the government of the , the Super Mario Brothers have declared a suspension of the constitution and the instatement of Princess Toadstool as ruler of the Kingdom. They have also declared that local governing bodies will be dissolved and each region of the will now be governed by Mushroom people military police.
The rule of King Bowser saw great improvements in the health care system, educational system, and overall economic welfare of the Kingdom. Many outside and within the Kingdom hope for a safe return of King Bowser to power soon.