INT. CONFERENCE TABLE
The 50 states are sitting around a large conference table.

Ohio
: Everything has been downhill since we took Alaska.

Hawaii: I told you all 50 were too many.

Delaware: We were better off as colonies.

Illinois: Would you all shut up? Now are we going to get rid of Texas or not?

Mississippi: Motion to suspend voting on Puerto Rico indefinitely.

All (except New Mexico): Aye.

Illinois: Don't get us sidetracked!

Vermont: Hey, Chicago, take a chill pill.

Illinois: My name is not Chicago.

Vermont: Whatevs.

Illinois: Whatevs? You philistine, I'm a state. Chicago is a city. There's a difference.

Louisiana: Did you know I'm the only state without common law?

Texas: I object to these shananigans. Look at all the great things that hang around my state: Mexicans. George W. Bush. Um, Emmitt Smith?

New York: Case and point. All in favor?

Arkansas: Does Rhode Island count?

Rhode Island whimpers in the corner

Wyoming: 50 bucks to anyone who can locate me on the map.

South Dakota: (looking up) I like you being on top.

North Dakota: (looking down, smiling) Me too.

North Carolina: You see how well they get along?

South Carolina shrugs.


New York: Can we get back to the vote?

New Jersey: Yeah can we get back to the vote?

Florida: Little brother backing up his big brother. That's Really cute.

New Jersey: Hows abouts me and Tony kick your ass when we come down to visit our grandparents?

Colorado: Take it outside. All in favor raise your hand now.

Connecticut: And hurry please; I have to drop the Mrs. off at tennis before I get to the club for a quick round of golf.

Half the states raise their hands.

Washington: Damn it.

Oregon: Damn it that half the states raised their hands, or that most people think you're a district?

Washington: I am going to-

Kansas: Why can't we compromise? Let's keep Texas and give Minnesota to Canada.

Minnesota: I'm fine with that.

West Virginia: (strolling in) I'm sorry I'm late. I had a klan meeting.