1. Disney World gangs face the worst punishment imaginable: a permanent ban from the park.
  2. QVC shopper: "These Dells are great for porno."
  3. Check out this useless invention that can teach you to swim on land.
  4. Here's something to dance to while you're waiting for the plumber to come and untangle your internet tubes.
  5. Writing a hit pop song seems easier than getting a degree. It might be time to drop out.

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