Dear Lifetime Channel,


Well Lifetime, you have certainly done it again. While trying to up my IQ over the summer by watching some Frasier, I accidentally let myself watch some of your commercials (whoops there go some IQ points right there) and in between the commercials for your Army Wives show (Exploiting America's Situation: A Lifetime Original) and the story about the slut who spread AIDS all around her school (Teenage Unprotected Sex that Spreads STDs? Hecks Naw: A Lifetime Original), there it was. Destination: Infestation.

Destination: Infestation seems like a great thriller about a bunch of people on a plane who are just sitting there minding their own business until out of nowhere… oh my god there are ants on the plane and they're attacking all of the humans but we can't land because we might infest the place where we land what do we….

Wait! Lifetime? Haven't I seen this movie before? Wasn't there a certain Samuel L. Jackson in it? Wasn't a dog devoured? Let's see if I can remember a quote:

"I'M SICK OF THESE MOTHER F**KIN SNAKES…"

Wait. Now I get it. You decided to change it from snakes to ants and then just call it a day. When it comes out July 7th, 2007, I really cannot wait to see if my guesses on some of the supporting characters were correct. They include: Girl who was raped by her brother's best friend, mother of two with cancer, general of the US army, Fran Drescher, and possibly a creepy stalker man.

It's genius really. Using an already horrible movie to make an even worse one. Plus it has a catchy title. If it was anything other than something that rhymed or made me think of bugs in any way I would've probably forgotten the title by now.




Hats off to you, Lifetime!

Sincerely,
Hana B