USAis walking outside to pick up the mail and see's his nieghbor Canada and the begin to talk.

Canada: Hey there USA, what's going on, eh.

USA: Ah nothing much, just getting the mail. No one bothered to even send a birthday card, all I get is bills! Trillions of dollars in bills.

Canada: Tough break. I know the feeling, My birthday was the July 1st but no one cares because, you know, I'm Canada.

USA: Well happy belated birthday Canada, we should hang out more often, we could learn a lot from each other.

Canada: That would be great!

USA: NOT!!! Just kidding.

Mexico goes into USA's backyard

USA: Hey Mexico, get the hell out of my yard or I'll kick your ass!

Mexico: Que?

USA: Forget it.

Iran, Iraq and Afganistan are across the street.

USA: Looks like those three are up to no good, again.

Canada: Don't look at them, they might see up and try to pick a fight like they did that one day.

USA: Oh, you mean when they punched me in the face from behind. Those pricks. I should have completely beat the shit out of them when I had the chance. I mean look, I beat up Afganistan and Iraq and tell them, unless they want to get beat again, they have to stop being a bitch and stop hanging out with Iran, and look what they're doing. God knows what the bastard Iran is telling them to do.

Canada: They can't be that bad. Maybe fighting people is not the way to go.

USA: Worked for Japan, worked for Germany, why not them. Wait until you get punched in the face. Hell, look what they're doing toBritain and Scotland. Those fucking pricks are messing with my friends and they should pay!

Canada: Chill out, eh. Maybe your way of dealing with people is not the best way is all I'm saying. You know?

USA: Maybe you're right. I'm no pussy though. People look up to me you know, and whether they like me or not, who do they call for when times are tough…me.

Milk truck drives up, Saudi Arabia gets out and delivers milk to USA's front step.

USA: Thanks! Hey Canada, you have any milk for me too.

Canada: Yeah, I'll get you some. Don't you make your own milk too?

USA: Yeah, in the southern most part of the backyard, by my pond. I love milk, where do you think I get these huge guns from?

Canada: Well, I better get going.

USA: Alright see you later…Hey, I'm having this party tonight for my birthday. Come if you would like. If I don't hear the doorbell, just come in. It's not hard to get in. Don't tell Mexico either. They'll probably show up anyway but don't give them the heads up. They just steal my shit. Even if I don't want it, the steal it anyway.