8 am Wake up.9 am Find land, yell "land ho!", land. 10 am Drop off resume at Red Lobster for part time work.11 am Consult Rollie Fingers on proper moustache maintenance. Noon Peg-leg fitting. 1 pm Lunch (liquid).2 pm Eye-patch fitting.3 pm Pick up parrot from ex-wife's house.4 pm AA5 pm Dinner (liquid)6 pm Give talk on dangers of alcoholism at local community college.7 pm Hand out free samples at community college.8 pm Look over course catalog at community college, consider taking some night classes, put catalog back.9 pm One more for the road.10 pm Try to convince drunken community college members to cover your tab, fail, pay own tab.11 pm Die a little inside.Midnight Go to sleep.