8 am – Wake up.9 am – Find land, yell "land ho!", land. 10 am – Drop off resume at Red Lobster for part time work.11 am – Consult Rollie Fingers on proper moustache maintenance. Noon – Peg-leg fitting. 1 pm – Lunch (liquid).2 pm – Eye-patch fitting.3 pm – Pick up parrot from ex-wife's house.4 pm – AA5 pm – Dinner (liquid)6 pm – Give talk on dangers of alcoholism at local community college.7 pm – Hand out free samples at community college.8 pm – Look over course catalog at community college, consider taking some night classes, put catalog back.9 pm – One more for the road.10 pm – Try to convince drunken community college members to cover your tab, fail, pay own tab.11 pm – Die a little inside.Midnight – Go to sleep.