First Drafts of Well Known Aphorisms
- If you’re fighting somebody who’s got fire, you better get some too if you wanna beat them.
- If you don’t succeed at first, practice a lot, then try harder the second time.
- When life gives you lemons, cut some up and put them into a pie or something. If life gives you a whole lot of lemons sell them to a grocer and use the money to buy yourself something nice.
- Give till it hurts…and then stop. Once it starts to hurt that’s the sign you should call it a day.
- Time heals all wounds. Except for ones having to do with the spinal cord.
- That which does not destroy us makes us stronger. Except for ones having to do with the spinal cord.
- Smile, it’s contagious. Not as much so as polio, but still.
- The pen is mightier than the sword in any scenario involving a laser pen that can shoot lasers out of it, or one that can explode like in a James Bond movie.
- With great power comes great responsibility. With average power comes an ’04 Jetta.
- All men are created equal, with a few obvious exceptions.
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