Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
First Drafts of Well Known Aphorisms
July 10, 2007
If you’re fighting somebody who’s got fire, you better get some too if you wanna beat them.
If you don’t succeed at first, practice a lot, then try harder the second time.
When life gives you lemons, cut some up and put them into a pie or something. If life gives you a whole lot of lemons sell them to a grocer and use the money to buy yourself something nice.
Give till it hurts…and then stop. Once it starts to hurt that’s the sign you should call it a day.
Time heals all wounds. Except for ones having to do with the spinal cord.
That which does not destroy us makes us stronger. Except for ones having to do with the spinal cord.
Smile, it’s contagious. Not as much so as polio, but still.
The pen is mightier than the sword in any scenario involving a laser pen that can shoot lasers out of it, or one that can explode like in a James Bond movie.
With great power comes great responsibility. With average power comes an ’04 Jetta.
All men are created equal, with a few obvious exceptions.
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.