A lot of times guys will say to me, "Neil, how do you do it? You have women from all over the globe fawning over you, hoping that you'll let them look you directly in the eye. You're average looking, of average intelligence, without great job prospects, and yet, the women desire you like no other."

And the truth is, my friends, it's the phone clip. As you'll note from the picture below, it is the centerpiece of my being.

Wearing your phone on the outside of your attire rather than inside a pocket lets women know that you have your things fastened securely on your body. It lets them know you're not afraid of committment, and you're also willing to put yourself out there.

It even works if you meet a girl who's into rugged men. She might be drawn to you, thinking that you are a construction worker with hands of steel, when in reality you just had a manicure with clear nail polish at the Korean Salon. I'm not saying I do that, it's just an example. Seriously. Stop judging me.

Look at this thing!

It's incredible. It cries out, "I'm inches away from the genitalia of the person wearing me. Ring. Ring. Pick up baby. It's for you."

Pick one up. You're gonna like the way you look. I guarantee it.

^ Footnote: I stole that last line from the Men's Warehouse commercial. That guy is such a pimp.