Ah, Halloween weekend. The one time of year where it is not only socially acceptable for usually tame college women to dress like tramps, but it is recommended and encouraged. And its only a couple days away! I'm sure most of you already have costumes by now, but do you have names for them? Here are a couple of suggestions:
Pirate: Captain Jack Spare-hoe
Native American: Pocmahanus
Teddy Bear: Winnie The Poon
Nurse: Cathy Terr
Chef: Slutto McMeatballs
Cop: Officer Carl Wins-hoe
Gladiator: Marcus Whorelius
Gynecologist: Buster Hymen, M.D.
Girls, if you use these, you can now be sexy AND
somewhat (not really) witty. Guys, if you use Buster Hymen, you'll mostly get a "you're disgusting" stare and will sleep alone, occasionally making out with your forearm trust me.