Ah, Halloween weekend. The one time of year where it is not only socially acceptable for usually tame college women to dress like tramps, but it is recommended and encouraged. And its only a couple days away! I'm sure most of you already have costumes by now, but do you have names for them? Here are a couple of suggestions:

GIRLS

  • Pirate: Captain Jack Spare-hoe
  • Native American: Pocmahanus
  • Teddy Bear: Winnie The Poon
  • Nurse: Cathy Terr
  • Chef: Slutto McMeatballs
  • Cop: Officer Carl Wins-hoe
  • Gladiator: Marcus Whorelius
  • GUYS
  • Gynecologist: Buster Hymen, M.D.
  • Girls, if you use these, you can now be sexy AND somewhat (not really) witty. Guys, if you use Buster Hymen, you'll mostly get a "you're disgusting" stare and will sleep alone, occasionally making out with your forearm — trust me.