"This is gonna be an awesome year! SIU 07!" :)

This is the worst decision you have ever made

"These kids will think I'm cool, I'm an awesome guy, and totally outgoing! Whateva!"

These kids are going to know you are gay immediately

"I'm gonna have tons of BFF's to go to the dining halls like 24/7 with me"

None of these kids will want to eat with you. You're gay and you fart all the time.

"Can you say, study buddies?"


"If there's ever even a time, which I doubt there will be! I'll enforce the rules with strict discipline!"

You will catch a Chinese kid drinking wine in his room the first night. You drink it with him, breaking many rules and crossing many lines

"These kiddos are gonna want me to tag along to all their crayzie house parties! LOL"

You follow the two guys who live in room 214 to a party on Hester Street. You talk to no one all night except a guy you were pretty sure was homeless. Meanwhile you got fucked up off two keg beers, cried just a little, and walked home

"I'm gonna have a hall council set up immediately! Boo yah!"

You will put up a hall council sign up sheet, and the only things written down are: Ted Biggins (no one with that name lives on your floor), Fuck You, Fuck this and, dude U R so gay

"Movie nights are Fo Sho, Goin Down!"

Yeah, but when your gang decides to pop in a Night in Paris, things get awkward for you

"Hopefully I'll make some totally chill friends for a lifetime! This year is for sure gonna be da' bomb!"

You'll think they are just immature when they pull the fire alarm. You'll think they don't like you when they wake you up at 3 in the morning knocking on your door screaming "fuck you man!" You'll know they don't like you when they write "you suck dude we hate you" on your "Tell me about yourselves guys!" board in the hall.