Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
Same Words, Different Meanings
October 30, 2006
The same sentence can mean a bunch of different things depending on how old the person talking is. It's true, just look below.
"Hold my beer for a second? I gotta run to the bathroom"
I'm gonna puke.
I'm going to make myself puke.
I just saw this girl go in there and I want to talk to her on the way out.
I've got a lot of blow and I'm
Ooh, I think that fiber pill is kicking in.
"The girls at this party are all ugly."
None of these girls will talk to me.
I'm not drunk enough yet.
The girls at this party are very unattractive.
I'm not as confident in my ability to attract women since I lost the ability to see my feet.
Jeez, I hope my daughter isn't one of the 'ugly girls' in her grade, because judging by the girls who came to her birthday party, yikes
"Dude, I'm fucked up!"
I've had four beers.
I've had eight beers.
I lost track of how many beers I've had a long time ago.
Remember all that blow I had and wasn't sharing? I did it.
I troll Myspace trying to meet young men after my wife goes to sleep.
"I didn't do so well on that test."
I got an 87
I got a 71
I got a 46
Looks like I'll be sticking around for another year.
I have prostate cancer.
"I'm tired, I think I'm gonna crash."
It's 4:30 AM on a Tuesday and I've been up all night watching TV simply because I can.
It's 1:45 AM on a Thursday and I've been drinking since 6:00 simply because I can.
It's 1 AM on a Friday, the bars are too crowded and my usual hook up is visiting her friend in Maine.
It's 11:30 PM and I'm getting sick of college.
Maybe someone else should drive? I hate these out-of-town conferences. You think they'd spring for a Town Car or something.
"Yeah man, big things happening tonight."
I'm testing out my brand new Fake ID at a bar.
My roommate is out of town and I'll be furiously masturbating all night!
I'm attending a large party where I will most likely have a good time.
I'm posting my resume to Monster.com and crossing my fingers.
I'm closing on that great apartment I was telling you about! The one on Riverside, with the big windows, remember?
"I love you."
I'm attracted to you.
I would be happy making a life with you.
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.