So here's some random awkward moments I frequently find myself in.
I hate when someone holds a door open for you when you're like half a block away. Not only do you become completely self conscious due to their intense watching of you, but then you feel you must hurry with out looking hurried. Which turns into what I like to call the hop-skip-jog, and in return, you look worse then imagined.
Coed dorm laundry rooms. I hate that point when its like me and 2 other people standing around quietly trying not to stare at each other, and I have to get my stuff from the washer to the dryer. I only can hope and pray that along that short traveled trail, my underwear don't fall onto the ground. What makes this worse? A couple in the laundry room. The second you walk in they get all whispery like, and I can only think that they're foreplaying having sex on top of the machines the second I walk out.
Has anyone else noticed that when you go to Taco Bell the first thing they ask you is “How are you doing today?” but never do they ask if they can take your order. You're then left there thinking, well shit, do I say fine then start ordering? Should I just start ordering? I mean the polite thing to do would to ask how they're doing back right? Really this has happened to me in every state I've been to, like is it a company policy? From now on, I'm just going to simply state, “My dog died today, but it could be better if I could just get a fucking Chalupa.”
I hate when I go to a restaurant with people and we realize that a few of us are all looking to get the same items. Then there is always that one person that gets the genius idea that everyone should get something different and then we can share. Like to me, I get what I want because I plan on eating the whole thing myself. Like what if I don't like what they get? Do they still get half mine? Since when is there this rule we can't order the same thing? I guess I just missed sharing week in kindergarten.
Four way stops. I think these should be illegal. I mean lets be honest everyone is always too busy talking on their cellphones and texting to even realize who pulled up first. I mean who's right are we going by here? So then you do that back and forth stop-go, then you proceed to all wave each other on at the same time. Then you all have to stop-go, only THEN will someone get ballsy enough to actually go, risking being slammed into both sides. I will admit, this person is never me, I find humor in waving people on, then going and slamming on my breaks, to only lengthen the process.
As a manual driver I've found I hate when I'm on a really big hill and some asshole pulls right up behind me. You're then faced with the fact that if you don't go hard enough you may roll into them causing a real shitfest of a day or you can hit the gas a little and pray you only go forward. This in turn usually causes one to peel out, so everyone around you thinks you're trying to show off, hence looking like a bad Lifetime movie rebel. What?? This only happens to me? Oh.