Sometimes it's hard to gauge the relationship you have with your roommate. Does he like you, or does he loathe the very fiber of your being. Here's a helpful table if you're curious.

Friend :: Dick
He tells you that you have an attractive family
You catch him masturbating to your little sister's middle school picture
He puts on his headphones when you are trying to study
He blares techno music all the time, and turns on a strobe light when you are trying to sleep
He loans you his ti-83 when yours disappears
He won't let you touch his calculator, which looks suspiciously like yours.
He tells you all about his bio quiz, since he has the same class a few hours before you
He won't talk to you about the bio quiz and when you ask why, he tries to stab you
You share shower sandals
He always steals your shower sandals and returns them smelling of urine
The two of you play Madden together for hours
He purposely broke your controller so you couldn't embarrass his sorry ass anymore
You guys went halvies on a futon
He threw up on your futon, on purpose
You eat lunch together in the dining hall
He stole your meal card
You guys drink together
He told the RA that your shot glasses aren't just "decorative"
You guys have the same taste in music
He's in the marching band
You watch all the same TV shows
He watches Hentai porn while you're in the room
He bought you a cup at a frat house
He told a frat guy that you jerk off to his girlfriend's Facebook picture
You know his favorite beer is Guinness
He drinks wine coolers
He doesn't let his alarm go off for more than 10 seconds
He watches you sleep
He already came home with you one weekend
He called your mom a bitch, to her face
You guys have a secret handshake
He jerks off to pictures of your sister in middle school, man