The media is buzzing about rumors of a book to be penned by O.J. Simpson which will tentatively be titled, "If I Did it: Here's How it Happened."

Any true-blooded American knows this work will no doubt be a complete work of fiction. Everyone knows O.J. didn't do it. Otherwise the book would be called, "I DID IT: Here's How it Happened." And that's not the title, people.

And remember, he's the one who was out there on the streets of Brentwood, day in and day out, searching for the "real killers." Maybe he even spoke to them in detail and that's where he got the idea for this book. I don't know. I'm not a pundit. I can only speculate.

What I do know is that this excerpt I landed is sick. Please read it.

"And then I would have taken two black gloves and put them on my hands while I would have waited outside Nicole's house. That way I would have eliminated any possibility for fingerprints on the knife that I would have used if I would have killed her. Then I would have waited for Ron Goldman and her to come out of the house.

And then I stabbed her in the throat and watched her bleed pools upon pools of blood. I mean I WOULD HAVE stabbed her in the throat and I'm sure that it would have probably maybe been very bloody. If I had done it. Which I did not. So I don't know. I'm just guessing here. And I'm gonna guess that when I would have stabbed Ron Goldman I would have wiped this eery smirk off his face. Then I would have told Kato to stop off and get some more burgers at McDonalds because I would have been famished…had I committed the crimes. Because that shit takes a lot out of you."