When you go back to school after Thanksgiving break, people will ask you what you did. You'll thrust your hands into your pockets and say, "Nuthin."
"Surely you did something!" they'll say. No. You did nothing. In fact, your schedule probably looked something like this:
1:30pm Wake up. Goddamn sun.
1:35pm Hot Pockets!!!
1:49pm Hmm next time you're gonna heat them up before eating.
2:00pm Search through digital cable guide to see if anything's on. The Shawshank Redemption? Just watch that for a couple minutes.
4:00pm God, you love that movie.
4:05pm Nap time!
6:03pm Wake up from your nap as parents arrive home. Quickly change out of your pajamas.
6:05pm Your dad notices that you are wearing shorts over your pajama bottoms. My God, you're lazy.
7:00pm Dust off the old Nintendo. Beat Super Mario Bros. again. This time, no warping.
9:45pm Forget it. You can warp.
10:00pm Beat the game. Time to check your e-mail.
11:00pm Back to the TV. Sweet, an episode of The Daily Show you've only seen once!
11:25pm Oh well, the interview is with some politician. Time to begin your day.
11:45pm Sneak into Blockbuster just before it closes, much to the dismay of the Blockbuster employees.
11:58pm Leave Blockbuster with Mallrats, again.
12:15pm Make self dumber with chemicals, watch Mallrats with remaining home friends.
2:00am Obtain White Castle.
2:20am Vow never again to eat at White Castle.
2:25am Finish the two burgers your friend ordered and didn't want.
3:00am Talk about stuff. You know, important stuff.
If you're looking for something more substantial to do this Thanksgiving break, check out The CollegeHumor Guide to College. Available in any bookstore and only $16 bucks on Amazon! That's less than a penny a day for your four years of college! We think.