Everyone has someone they hate for no real reason, but you just love to hate this person. They didn't necessarily do anything to you personally, but you just find them to be the single most annoying, repulsive person on the face of this earth. You would give anything to punch them in their stupid fat face and make them cry. But we can't just hate someone for no reason at all. Instead, you take some insignificant encounter with this person and blow it completely out of proportion.

All you need is that window of opportunity to justify hating him. This can be a medley of things. You ask, "Hey, can I borrow your book for the semester, I didn't feel like buying one?" and he responds in his high-pitched voice "No, I have to do the homework too." Or you say "Dude, is that your girlfriend, she looks like a female version of Rosie O'Donnell" which is sure to irritate him slightly. You want him to say something, just to justify your hatred.

In my case it's this kid that sits next to me in class. Now at the moment I don't have my justification for hating him or being mean to him, so I'll just give you the rundown.

Anything he does gives me this feeling in my stomach, a feeling I haven't felt since watching "Back to the Future 2" and Marty loses "Grey's Sports Almanac" to Biff after working so hard to steal it back. Too obscure of a reference? I didn't think so either.

The person may come in many forms, each unique in their own level of obesity. The kid I hate is probably a level 6, out of a possible 10. He tries to cover this by pulling up his old white socks, which have long since lost their elasticity from being stretched out over his massive freak show clown feet, and now loosely hang from his cankles. The socks, each a different hue of white, rest nicely in his four year old Airwalks that he bought at the JCPenny 90% off "going out of business" sale.

We move up to his cargo shorts or jean shorts (which were his regular jeans during the winter but were cut at the knees for his cool, laidback summer look). The brand is most likely JNCO, a company that lost its appeal in 1998. Connected to one of his belt loops is a chain that descends into his back pocket where he keeps his Spiderman Collector's Edition wallet. Whenever he wants to impress the ladies he pulls this baby out and shows them his Official Trekkie Fan Club Card - it gets them wet every time, mainly because they're laughing so hard that they start to cry.

His gut hangs over the desk he's sitting at, barely covered by his Simpsons T-Shirt that he wears every other day. I have reason to believe that he's got a closet full of these like a cartoon character (i.e. Doug Funnie) if it wasn't for the putrid odor that remains on the shirt day after day. On his wrist he sports a Boy Scouts of America watch, God I hate him.

He's wears glasses, I wish I could say he had tape holding them together from getting hit in the face so much, but that would be pushing it. His hair sits stupidly on top of his stupid head, looking more like a dead gerbil stapled to his fat skull than actual hair. To top it off he's got some goat hair growing out of one of his three chins that he likes to stroke whenever he's thinking.

He becomes really irritated in class when people make noise. Right now I'm laughing to myself because I'm sitting next to him, writing down all these ideas. He turns and says "Shhhh, please be quiet mister" and now I have my reason to hate him for the rest of the semester!