Welcome to Friday, everybody! I know you missed your gossip recap last week, but it was Thanksgiving and we can't all just pretend holidays don't exist (you hear that, Canucks?). Here is some stuff that might get you an OTPHJ this weekend.

Biggest story this week is, obviously, Britney Spears' vag. But did you know that there's also a video of her masturbating on YouTube? HAHA you totally just clicked that link, didn't you? Sorry, I was just kidding, although I honestly wouldn't be surprised at this point.(Source: WWTDD, Hollywood Tuna)

Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock filed for divorce this week after a whopping 4 months of marriage. Apparently Kid Rock told Pam her role in Borat was "'an embarrassment.' Because, you know, it's totally shameful to be in the funniest movie of the year. What a dick.(Source: IDLYITW)

Want to hear something hilarious? Tom Cruise gained so much weight before his wedding this month that he had to wear a girdle just to fit in his suit. A GIRDLE. So much for marrying a woman to prove he's not gay.(Source: IDLYITW)

Also in the news this week, Lindsay Lohan is a fucking psycho. After another tantrum at a recent GQ party, even Will Ferrell called her a "'freak.' You've got to be a legit mental patient to make Will Ferrell call you a freak. (Source: Egotastic)

In this month's Elle magazine, 50 Cent calls Oprah Winfrey an "'oreo' (black on the outside, white on the inside) because she caters to middle-aged white American women. Speaking of catering to middle-aged white American women, how's that Elle magazine interview going, Fiddy? BURN! (please don't kill me) (Source: WWTDD)

And going with the theme of this week, here's Britney having absolutely zero control over some abSURDly lopsided breasts. Somebody buy this woman undergarments, yeesh!

(Source: Egotastic)