It’s just another party for Andy, the self-proclaimed beer pong champion of the world, to piss greatness all over those who dare to challenge him. He considers the rest of us mere mortal and only himself, and maybe his partner on a couple of shots, but mainly himself, to be the god of beer pong.
The champ sets up the cups and is ready to play
Andy: Alright suckas, who’s ready to get beat by me and Mike. Who? Anybody?
Me: Me and Ross will give it a shot.
Andy: Anybody good I mean and can give me a challenge.
Me: Andy, me and Ross won your “tournament of champions” last weekend.
Ross: Yeah, we nearly shut you out.
Andy: Well, that’s because I had some stupid fag on my team who didn’t make shit. If it were just me, you boys would be dead from alcohol poisoning and shame.
Me: What? That doesn’t really make sense.
Andy: Whatever faggots, you know I could probably take a national crown…seriously I could. Now quit talking and let’s play some pong babies! WOO!!
Andy shoots, makes a cup.
Andy: That’s right boys. WORLD CHAMP!!! It’s going to be a quick game baby!
Mike shoots and misses long
Andy: You probably should just kill yourself Mike. I was undefeated last night. Stayed at the table for 15 games and didn’t lose one and I’ll be damned if you ruined my hot streak!
Ross and I shoot and each make a cup
Ross: Send ‘em back fellas, we’re not through yet.
I shoot and miss
Ross: Back-right cup…
em>Shoots and makes the called cup
Ross: That’s 2 cups buddy…drink up!
Me: Nice man.
Andy: Shut up, watch this.
em>Mike and Andy both miss
Andy: Damn it Mike! Why don’t you fucking contribute!
Mike: Are you serious dude? Just a game man.
Andy: You’re gay….I’m not drunk enough. Let me funnel a beer real quick.
Andy funnels beer and gets beer all over his shirt. Mood changes from happily drunk to sad as Me, Ross, and Mike see friend lose his dignity
Me: Alright, ready now?
Ross and I both make cups
Ross: Roll that shit back!
Me: We’ll take a re-rack too. Diamond please.
em>Ross’s arc shot misses but opens the door for my bounce shot which lands in the front cup…Ross and I chest bump
Me: I SPIT HOT FIYAH!!! You’re right. This will be a quick game.
Andy: Shut up dude
Mike makes one, Andy misses
Andy: It’s about fucking time!
Ross makes his shot, I miss
Andy: Alright Mike. Make this shot.
Andy: I’m so fucking pissed off that you’re making me lose focus. It takes focus to be a WORLD CHAMP!
Andy makes cup
Andy: YES! Drink up sissies!
Me: Alright Ross, this is all you.
Ross makes last cup, I miss opening door for a rebuttal
Andy: Don’t fuck this up Mike.
Andy: You really suck. Get out of my house.
Andy misses rebuttal. Loses game.
Me: Whistles Queen’s “We are the Champions”
Ross: So do we get a belt for beating the world champ.
Andy: Shut up. It’s hard to repeat last nights performance with douchebag Mike on you’re team.
Mike: What the hell man. You didn’t look so stellar yourself.
Andy: Shut the fuck up or I’ll kick your ass. Besides, its shark week, why are we playing beer pong when we can drink inside and watch sharks attack shit.
Me: He’s got a point
Everyone goes inside to watch Shark Week…Only on the Discovery Channel
Andy: I would totally kick that shark’s ass!