Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
105% Issue #28
July 31, 2007
This header was written using the Windings for Egyptian Hierlogryphs font.
I ate a double-A battery a couple weeks ago and got really sick. I no longer trust expiration dates.
Armchair Deal or No Deal Contestant
"Moron, he should have picked 17."
Famous Speeches Given While Playing Taboo
I have a at night time, you doze off and you think of unicorns and you just When you go to bed people say "Sweet ____" Right. And it was that one day our children will not be judged by the color of their largest organ. It's usually umm epidermis. Right. But by the content of their umm Every play has a main ____. A main _____. Screw it. Pass.
"Where the f*uck are we, Toto?"
"Frankly my dear, I don't give a flying f*ck."
How to ruin Webster's New World Dictionary for someone
"Zymurgy: (n) the applied chemistry of fermentation processes."
"Whose line is it anyway?" asked Drew Carrey.
"The bigger one is mine," said the prostitute.
Bad things to say during sex
- It's dark in here is that your breast or mine?
- Something about sex always reminds me of my uncle.
- Don't worry baby, I'll be finished quicker than you can say, "genital warts."
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