If there is one equation to remember during finals week, it’s that “finals week = no classes = Price is Right.”  It’s your classic transitive property of what to do when you don’t have school, dating back to your grade school days.  But nowadays there is an increasing number of people on the Price is Right who really grind my gears.  Here are just a few of the types of people who are making Bob Barker want to retire:

Middle-Aged Woman Who Obviously Doesn't Watch The Show

  • Smiles blankly because she does not realize the extent of her luck to be called to "come on down"
  • On Contestants' Row, all her bids are either $1 under a previous bid or are grossly higher than the actual retail price
  • If, by chance, she plays a pricing game, she stares blankly at the group she came with for help.  Sadly, they're also old hens, thus no help
  • The plus side: For once justifies your affinity for hurling profanities at the TV

Frat Boy

  • Only there to bang a Barker's Beauty
  • Wears a shirt that says "SigEp Loves to Come on Down!" or something equally witty
  • Ends all bids with "69"
  • Too busy giving shout-outs to his "brohamskis" Smitty, D-Bone, and Kegmeister Graham to accurately guess the price of a lovely dinette set
  • Barker's Beauties are way out of his league anyways, so he's getting none
  • The plus side: Makes you feel much better about yourself for not being a "brahzasaurus"
Dumb Blond

  • Found herself standing in line for tickets because she thought it was a shoe giveaway
  • Is unaware of PiR etiquette; bids $1 over whoever was before her, without fail
  • During a pricing game, looks into her group of sorority sisters, painfully misinterpreting a "9" for a "54"
  • The plus side: Her run down to Contestants' Row.  Probably the most boner-inducing moment of network daytime television