How to Study For Your Philosophy Final

Wait, what?  Is that today? Hold on I need to look in my planner. Oh my God. I thought it was next Tuesday. Is it open notes? Oh my God. I need to call Bobby, what's Bobby's number? Shit shit shit. I don't even know where it is. Johnson Hall 211? Where is Johnson Hall? Is that North Campus? Oh my God, I'm screwed. Where's my book? I have, like, four hours. I might as well kill myself. How high is this building? I'd survive a three story fall. Jesus, I need to go to the library. Where's my jacket? Dude, why didn't you wake me up?!  You knew I had this test today and you didn't say anything about it last night?  What the hell, dude?  No, it's not my fault, it's your fault.  You're the worst roommate ever. Yo, if I fail this test my dad is going to shit, I swear to God. Oh man.  Can you break my leg or something?  What?  No, I'm not serious.  Shut up, I need to think.  How much time do you think it would take to type all my notes into a TI-83?  Sweet Jizzing Jesus I am fucked. I have to go.

Good Luck With Finals, Everybody!