"Getting a Ride Home With Someone You Don't Know" by Jake Hurwitz and M. Night Shyamalan:

You: This is my stop.
Dad: Not anymore.
You: Excuse me?
Son: We're twins.
You: What? No we're not.
Dad: How do you  know?
You: Because I'm already a twin.
Son: I meant triplets.
You: Oh my god it makes so much sense now.
Dad: Also your mother is dead.
You: Dad?
Dad: Welcome home.
Son: I love you both.
(Cop pulls them over)
Cop: You two old enough to drive?
You: Our dad is driving.
Cop: I don't see anybody in this car but you two…



"Letters from Santa"
by Dan Gurewitch and M. Night Shyamalan:





"Slacker Study Group" by Amir Blumenfeld and M. Night Shyamalan:

Kid who shows up with two minutes left in a ninety minute class: Hey guys. Sorry I'm late. Did I miss anything?
Crossword Puzzle Guy: We're just getting started, actually.
Kid who shows up with two minutes left in a ninety minute class: We? You're the only person in here…



"Would You Rather" by Streeter Seidell and M. Night Shyamalan:
Would you rather realize you were dead or realize you're parents have been
fooling you into thinking you've been living in the 19th century when in
actuality it's 2006?



"This One's For Blindies" by Brian Paulsen and M. Night Shyamalan: