1) “Oh, I thought about being a cop. Then I decided to graduate from Middle School.”

2) “I'm making a citizens arrest. You're under arrest for being a fat retard.”

3)“Yea, I was going fast so I could get to your house to f*ck your wife.”

4)“Dude, how’d you catch me? I mean, I am driving a cloud.”

5)“I was going fast enough for you to put down your donut and pull me over.”

6)“Whatever officer, just don’t look in the trunk.”

7)“No speaka de Ingles.”

8)“Sorry if I was all over the road, I’m still buzzing a bit.”

9)“I make more money than you.”

10) “I smell bacon!”