Winston Churchill once said, "A communist is like a crocodile; when it opens its mouth you cannot tell whether it is trying to smile or preparing to eat you." You look like a commie.

2x – 60,250 = 99,920. Solve for x and show me your answer.

I'll show you where my Y intercepts your X. Hint: it's in your fallopian tube. They call it the origin for a reason.

Elementary topology suggests that any object without a hole can be simplified to a sphere. Luckily, you aren't a sphere.

A man buys a 110 pound woman a 3 oz. cocktail for $5.50, with an alcohol content of 27.5%. How many more drinks must he buy before she blacks out and has no recollection of making out with him all night?

5x – 113 = 232. Solve for x and give me your answer.

You're more acute than an equilateral triangle.

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? I'm sorry but if you don't speak basic French this one-night stand isn't gonna work.


I promise, if you let my Trojan horse into your fortress it won't break open allowing my soldiers to roam free and ravage you. History doesn't always repeat itself.


Baby, I'll make your Bartholin's glands go wild.

Those pants are so tight, how did you have the Joules necessary to overcome the forces of friction and gravity?


What's your number, in binary?