So I didn’t want to do this, but I had nothing else to do because I somehow became susceptible to the human flu and went upstairs into my mom’s house to get better. While I was on the couch, I figured I would accomplish a feat greater than any level I have achieved thus far in the world…..of Warcraft. What I plan to do, because lesser people haven’t yet figured it out, is to make one movie review, which will end the need to ever review movies again, because this one will cover a simple list of the only important movies in the universe. So to show how serious this I am going to do something that the storm troopers should have done a long time ago with Leia, and switch my blaster from stun to kill. That way even a noob can understand it.
First of all, the R-tards in Hollywood need to quit putting out movies that no one cares about. So far, just this holiday season even, we have excrement like “We are Marshall,” “Rocky Balboa,” and I don’t remember the rest but who cares about sports; really, they are way below my brilliance. I can’t believe they think that those will bank any gold or silver or any type of stone or gem currency, its laughable, no one I know would ever go see it, and I have like twenty thousand friends, believe me, and so many people want to buy my Exalted Tauren, but I wont sell it because it was my first alter ego.
The number one movie in the land currently isn’t even remotely worthy of the position. Who cares about fantasy tales like “The Pursuit of Happyness!?” The only movie that comes close to being worthy is “Eragon,” all though it isn’t quite historically accurate, there really were a few small resistance pockets of Dragon Riders, but they secluded themselves in the mountains and didn’t go into the corrupt world, but can you blame them?
There are very few movies that are worthy of my gaze, but I have compiled a list of how to be able to tell what movies are capable of holding a real audience. Without further delay, a person should not watch a movie without the combination of any of the following words: star, battle, wars, trek, gate, galactica, SG-1, new, revolutions, Jedi, hope, a, of, the, lord, ring, Monty, grail, holy, python, towers, matrix, fellowship, two, reloaded, return, king, empire, back, strikes, and and. In these words, the titles of the greatest movies ever made are contained, keep in mind that some words can be used more than once. Also keep in mind that I didn’t use any of the new Star Wars titles.
I also believe that those mind controlled androids in Hollywood need to take my advice and create some of the greatest movie which ever could be created. I have so many ideas that it would literally melt their feeble human minds. Here is my list:
- World of Warcraft
Holy smokes that movie would be so sweet. Can you even imagine, a movie about the constant battling of the Alliance and the Hoard, do you even know how spectacular that movie would be, of course you don’t because the unattainable amount knowledge it takes to understand such a concept is so advanced that only myself and other people in my guild can understand it. Well that’s my review I need to get back down into my basement so my mom doesn’t bother me anymore, even though I COULD MELT HER WITH MY BRAIN IF I WANTED TO!!!