Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
Making The Most Of Your Sinful Ways
January 8, 2007
Our simple, safe and sexy plan to get a great work out while you're rubbing one out.
1. The Bridge Of Pleasure
First, balance yourself on the tips of your toes and the top of your head. Make sure to spread your legs wide to create a stable base. With your dominant hand, reach down and pleasure yourself. With your non-dominant hand you may grab your thigh, place it on the floor to steady yourself, or entertain your anus, if that’s your thing.
2. Balls To The Wall
Placing your feet shoulder width apart, lean back against a sturdy, load-bearing wall. Slide your back down the wall until the angle of your bent knees equals 90 degrees. Begin to pleasure yourself with your dominant hand and place your non-dominant hand flat against the wall. Resist the temptation to stand erect when your thighs start to burn. The burn is how you know it’s working.
3. Sit And Deliver
Lie on the floor with your knees bent. Fold your non-dominant arm across your chest or hold it to the side of your head. Contract your stomach muscles and raise your body until your back is at a 45 degree angle to the floor. Hold that position while you pleasure yourself with your dominant hand. If you have a hard time maintaining the position ask a friend to hold your feet down, which will give you greater stability.
4. Push It Real Good
Lie on the floor face down. Get a good, firm hold with your toes and a good plant with your non-dominant hand. Raise your buttocks up in the air until your non-dominant arm is fully extended in front of you. From here, reach down and pleasure yourself with your dominant hand. Switch hands every two minutes for maximum effect. Put a mirror behind you and look between your legs for maximum nastiness.
Rise To The Occasion
Stand on a step with only your toes touching the surface. Only about an inch of each foot should be making contact with the step. Using your non-dominant hand to steady yourself against a wall or railing, raise yourself up on your toes then down again. With your dominant hand begin to pleasure yourself. This is very important, only permit yourself one stroke per toe raise. If you commit to the 1-for-1 plan you should get a very effective calf workout the closer you come to completion.
Everyday Instruction Manual
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