Diary of a Sim


Dear Diary,

Today was the first day of my new life.We arrived on the block and met our new neighbors, Untitled1 Untitled1 and his lovely wife or domestic partner, Untitled2 Untitled1.When dusk came, they seemed to be in a strange hurry to leave.

—New1


Dear Diary,

I feel compulsions to do things I’ve never done before, like play chess with myself and say hurtful things to my wife.I could tell that they were hurtful because the green status bar that has hovered mysteriously over her head since we got here lost a lot of points after I said them.I couldn’t apologize because I had to go play pinball.

—New1


Dear Diary,

I gained two cooking points today, at least according to the message that appeared above my head after I successfully prepared an omelet.I have not spoken to my wife for two days.I think she has been playing the piano this whole time.

—New1


Dear Diary,

On her way to take out the trash, my wife found me giving Untitled2 an alternating series of backrubs and compliments.She seemed very hurt.She finished taking out the garbage and then came inside and slapped me.Our relationship status has hit a new low.I wish there were some way I could make it up to her.A new couch appeared in our living room today.

—New1


Dear Diary,

A horrible calamity occurred today.My wife was swimming in our backyard pool when, suddenly, the ladder disappeared.She swam doggedly back and forth for a while but at last grew tired and started to lose hope.I tried to suggest that she just hoist herself up over the side, but I could only manage to say things like “Pirate” and “Motorcycle.”Now she is dead.May God rest her soul, if there is a God.

—New1


Dear Diary,

All the doors have disappeared from the empty room where I am now trapped.I don’t know how this can have happened, but I think it is because I angered the spirits of this place.I tried to escape this evil house, but beyond our lot there is only a strange, grey landscape where I cannot venture.I miss my wife, my job, my old friends, my life.Surely this is Hell.

—New1