Just recently I left behind the awkward, formative, and formatively awkward teenage years and turned 20.  To celebrate this moderately-momentous milestone, my friends poured in support by means of text message, Facebook wall post, and, most importantly, shots of alcohol.  Here is a breakdown of what my friends gave me in lieu of, ya know, real presents.

Birthday texts received:
6
First text as a 20-year-old received: 12:05 a.m. from The Boat – “what bar u goin to?”
Texts from unknown numbers: 1
Girls-to-guys ratio: 4-1, margin of error=1
Facebook posts received: 28
Posts that were three words or less: 19
Best post received: “happy birthday STEVE…i miss you buddy and can't wait to see you're pretty face in a few days” (from Tommy Hendrickson)
Posts with misuses of your/you’re: 4
Shots received: Fuck dude, like, oh man…let’s see here…shit, probably like, ummm…had to be 11 or so.  I dunno, I was so shitfaced bro
Shots requested: Zero
Worst shot taken: Tequila with a Jameson chaser
People I consider close friends who didn’t come out because they were "too sick": 2