For years I have been asking friends which they would choose if these two options were put in front of them and they could only choose one. Now I am asking you.

$80,000 vs. A Pocket Deli

Assuming everyone knows what eighty thousand dollars is I will explain the second option, The Pocket Deli. A Pocket Deli looks as unassuming as the pocket residing in the jeans you are wearing now. However, when one sticks their hand in this pocket, they will pull out whatever deli item they are currently thinking about. One can reach their hand into The Pocket Deli as many times as they wish. One should be warned that The Pocket Deli will last only as long as the pants fit and that if one should try and sell items from The Pocket Deli or the Pocket Deli itself, their hands will wither to look like old rakes.

Here are some things to consider:

  • Delis are awesome. Most sell Cheeseburger Deluxes.
  • $21.50 ATM balance will now read $80,021.50.
  • Condoms, Beer, Snapple, Bacon, Egg and Cheese(s)…
  • Fill a tower with $80,000 worth of pennies. Do a swan dive into it and perform the back stroke. (Ala Scrooge McDuck)
  • Your Pocket Deli sells toilet paper.
  • You can buy a bodega for less than 80 G's and name it The Pocket or "Los Bosillo"
  • More children die from swimming pools than fromhandguns.
  • Cherry Coke, Drakes Cakes, Coffee, Guacamole…

I have given this 5 years of thought and have made my decision. Choose wisely.