The door is locked and there are strange noises coming from inside your dorm. Take this quiz to find out if your roommate is losing his virginity on your half of the bunk bed, or just playing the new Halo 3 beta!

Let's start with the basics, what's stopping you from going in your room?
There's either or a cougar inside or someone is snoring. Either way I'm not going in (0 points)
The door is locked (1 point)
There is a sock on the doorknob (2 points)
There is an extra-large condom stretched around the doorknob (3 points)

Can you hear anything coming from inside?
Nope (0 points)
It kind of sounds like someone's playing Donkey Kong (1 points)
My roommate keeps saying things like "you're gonna get so f*cked, bitch." I don't hear anyone else inside (2 points)
Smooth jazz, soul and occasionally Prince (3 points)

Describe your roommate:
He's a troll and he only wakes up when people try to cross his bridge (0 points)
He's a normal dude (1 point)
He wears an NES controller and light gun on his belt like Captain N (2 points)
He's got really big muscles and he never even wears clothes (3 points)

How does your roommate handle the ladies?
He's comfortable around girls but relatively uninterested (0 points)
If a girl gets too close he whips out his lightsaber. That's not innuendo; it's a real lightsaber (1 point)
Not sure. He's never met a real human girl before (2 points)
He handles them, if you know what I mean, in bed, that's what she said (3 points)

How did your roommate decorate his side of the room?
He didn't (0 points)
He's hung up every foldout Nintendo Power poster in a way that allows him to flip them if he ever needs the level maps on the other side (1 point)
The walls are mostly bare, except for an autographed Halo poster hanging above his bed. I don't know who signed it (2 points)
Lots of satin and lights with dimmers (3 points)

How many pounds of food does your roommate eat each day:
70 lbs (0 points)
1-2 lbs (1 point)
4 lbs of cooler ranch Doritos (2 points)
> 1 lb of pussy (3 points)

What's your roommate's name?
Craig (0 points)
Mike (1 point)
Steve (2 points)
Gordon (3 points)

Why aren't you in your room?
He smells so bad I had to leave (0 points)
I went to a party to meet some hot freshman hoes (1 point)
If I hear the words "killing spree" one more time I'm going on one (2 points)
He came back with some girl and they dared me to streak around campus for an hour, they didn't think I'd do it! (3 points)