It made such a noise. They’re so looking at me. I know what they’re thinking: Oh look at that jerk who can’t even run on a treadmill without dropping his iPod. They’re probably looking at my biceps and wondering how my arm-strap could’ve fallen off.

Jesus. it made such a noise. Why’d it have to make so much noise? God, I’m going to have to get off and everyone will look at me while they’re still running and stepping and ellipticaling successfully with their iPods. This is going to suck so much.

Wait! Someone else dropped theirs! Yes! Now’s my chance! While everyone’s looking at that retard, I can get off and casually tie my shoe and pick up my iPod. Everyone needs to tie their shoes, right? There’s no way people will think I’m some sort of iPod dropping klutz if I can just tie my shoe. But what’s he doing now? Oh no, he’s stopping to talk to someone. Oh god, people have stopped looking at him already! No! Damn it. Maybe I can just trip this guy next to me. He’s plodding along pretty slow, it wouldn’t be easy.Maybe if I just stick my foot out here…

Fuck. He saw me. I better do it with the other foot, and make it look like I’m stretching. Yeah, that’s it. I’m just stretching it out, stretching it out, nothing to see here, pal. Alright. This is getting ridiculous. I should just go get my iPod and that’ll be that. Fine. Okay. How do I stop the treadmill? Okay, there.

Christ, this is humiliating. This is way worse than that time I ran out of hair gel and Axe body spray on a Friday night.