(Enter two typical high school seniors doing whatever typical high school seniors do i.e. going through the drive-thru, eating cereal, listening to music, smoking weed, etc.)


Teen 1: So I find out I'm going to need a lot more money for college…


Teen 2: Whoa, didn't you get a scholarship?


Teen 1: Yeah, I got a whole $250, but I'm still short! I didn't know college would be so expensive! I wish there was a way I could have the money now, like if I borrowed it from someone and paid it back later…


Teen 2: Pssh, keep dreamin', man. I'm pretty sure nobody would just loan you the money, not even a bank.


Contemporary Older Guy: Whoa, fellas. Haven't you heard about Student Loan Corporation?


Teen 1: Student loan? Why, I've never heard of such a thing, even though I'm 18 years old and my urban attitude indicates my streetwise sensibilities.


COG: If you come up short for college, there's Student Loan Corporation. You can borrow anywhere from $1,500 to $700,000,000 and you don't have to pay it back until AFTER YOU GRADUATE!


Teen 2: Get the fuck outta here!


Teen 1: And I can get my parents to cosign the loan so I can get the money NOW!


Teen 2: Wait, I thought you didn't know anything…


COG: AHEM, so if you need more money for books…


(Book magically appears in Teen 1's hands.)


COG: …lab fees…


(Book is replaced by microscope.)


COG: room and board…


(Microscope disappears.)


COG:…or anything else a college dude needs, *cough*BEER*cough, call Student Loan Corporation.


Token Black Guy: Yo, it'z a snap. BUH-LEE DAT!