Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
January 11, 2007
It's been a while since
and I teamed up to teach you valuable information. Luckily, we're back to drop some much-needed knowledge on the youth of America. Today we're going to learn about
Winona likes to steal and George Michael likes to whip it out, that much is true. But did you know about these other famous arrests?
In terms of historical celebrities,
President Ulysses S. Grant
was actually arrested during his term in office on speeding charges. That’s right, the President got pulled over and fined $20 for exceeding the Washington speed limit on his horse. Also, he was probably drunk, as that was kind of 'his thing.'
Of course, Grant’s just one of a number of respectable celebs who’ve landed in the clink for traffic violations. The 21-year old
got sent to the New Mexico slammer, not once, but twice for driving his Porsche 911 without a license, and racing past stop signs.
While the billionaire’s somewhat innocent traffic offenses can be forgiven, it’s a little harder to overlook rap has-been
. His VH1 show itself is pretty criminal, but even worse is the fact when he was arrested in 1994 for a minor traffic violation, it was mainly because cops learned that his license had already been suspended 43 times previously. Of course, it wasn’t like it was Flav’s first time behind bars. In addition to a litany of other charges, he’s also been arrested for toting 2 lbs. of marijuana around with him.
Back in 1977, a 16-year old hockey wunderkind named
got arrested during a hazing. The Great One and 6 of his naked rookie pals were arrested for indecent exposure and immediately hauled down to the station. The most revealing part of the arrest? Gretzky lost his first nickname: the Big Unit.
Apparently, acting humble wasn’t in
range back in 2003. Thinking everyone knew who he was, the comedian/actor barged past a security guard at a New Orleans’ casino, and refused to show him any ID. Instead, he made a bee-line for the slot machine. When police showed up to question him, Foxx and his sister started throwing punches. The fist-fight got so bad that the cops ended up using pepper spray (perhaps inspiring Jaime’s first great Ray Charles impression?). Both Foxx and his sis were arrested and charged with trespassing, battery on an officer and resisting arrest.
Talk about not feeling good, at 15,
was arrested and jailed for stealing clothes out of a parked car. Of course, that was just the first time of at least 8 that the Godfather of Soul ended up behind bars.
While Crosby, Stills and Nash’s
is well known for his raging coke addiction (he had to turn to freebasing once he bore a hole through his nasal septum), how he got picked up hasn’t always been revealed. Once, just before a flight, he asked an attendant to fetch his bag from the cargo hold because he desperately needed to get to his prescription. When the “medication” turned out to be a bag full of hash, pot, heroin, and a .22 Magnum, Crosby and his entourage were charged with air piracy, and promptly escorted off the airliner.
Despite pal-ing about with Sinatra and Sammy Davis, Jr.,
was bona fide klepto. He once told the Saturday Evening Post that he couldn’t go to a department store without stealing something, claiming “everyone has a little bit of larceny in them.” Apparently, he was a better thief than a driver. In ’82, the former bootlegger-turned- crooning legend was pulled in on drunk driving charges.
Speaking of the Rat Pack, at 23,
was got pulled over in Bergen County, NJ on charges of seduction and adultery. According the
, the Bergen County arrest was ridiculous. As if the charges weren’t bad enough (for misleading a girl “under the promise of marriage” he “did then and there have sexual intercourse with said complainant, who was then and there a singly female of good repute.” ) Luckily, the charges were later dismissed when the girl ol’ Blue Eyes banged turned out to have been married.
A few other celebrities you might have missed:
Tim Allen spent 28 months in jail back in 1979 on coke charges. Jodie Foster also got caught with the Bolivian marching powder back in 1983. Farrah Fawcett’s been arrested for shoplifting (twice). According to newspapers, Macauley Culkin once picked up for driving with 17 grams of marijuana and 17 “round white pills.” Queen Latifah’s gotten arrested for a concealed weapon. Nicole Richie took a hit for heroin possession. And Bobby Fischer got arrested in Yugoslavia for spitting on an official letter in 1992 that ordered him not to play on account of the civil war. Good times
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